The size of my clothes has been something that I’ve had quite a tumultuous relationship with over the years. I always used to feel so down if I tried on an old pair of jeans and they didn’t fit anymore or if I tried on 3 pairs of trousers and ended up having to buy the bigger size.
Growing up, I was always small. I remember being in Primary 7 (age 11/12) and wearing age 5-6 polo shirts. To this day I still get away with wearing clothes from the teen section in New Look. But I always remember my mum telling me that if I start buying bigger clothes then it’s time to lose weight. I don’t think she meant it in a harsh way at all, I think she just wanted me to stay healthy but that stayed with me for a long time. So when I went up from a W26 to a W28, my first reaction was “better start losing weight”.
I think I’ve been pretty naïve over the last few years and believed that I should stay the same size forever and if I gained a few pounds that it was the end of the world. Recently though, I’ve honestly just stopped caring. Obviously I still want to make sure I’m a healthy weight etc but in terms of gaining a little bit of weight… who really cares?
It’s unrealistic that I’d still fit into the same pair of jeans that I wore constantly when I was 19 when I’m now about to turn 25, and now that I realise that – I’m okay with it. So what if I need to buy jeans in a size up? It’s not the end of the world. And does it really matter so much if I’m a size 10 in one shop but a size 6 in another? Nah not really. Different clothes from different shops aren’t going to fit me exactly the same way, sometimes even different clothes from the SAME shop don’t fit exactly the same; a prime example of this being when I bought a pair of jeans from Monki – same size & same style as another pair I already owned – and they didn’t fit at all. So now instead of crying over the fact that I no longer fit into the jean size I used to be able to SIX YEARS AGO, I just buy the size up and go about my day.
So many people worry over what size they are and whether it’s “acceptable” in terms of society’s standards. Relying on a little number on a label to make you happy isn’t good, and I realised it was making me miserable. The number on the back of my jeans isn’t the be all and end all, and all that really matters is that I’m happy with myself.
Yes I’ve gained some weight over the last few years and yes I’ve gone up a size here and there but I’m happy with myself. Sure I could tone up and get into great shape but I don’t feel the need to do that at the moment. I’m the heaviest I’ve been but also the happiest I’ve been so clothes sizes can suck it.
I’m not even sure if this post makes any sense but I just had a lot on my mind lately about this and I wanted to share it with you. Let me know your thoughts on this as well in the comments because I’d love to know what you think.