Why I’m Not A ‘Party Girl’ And That’s Okay

why i'm not a party girl
When I was growing up I remember all of my friends starting to go out to parties and drink. For some reason, this didn’t appeal to me. I figured that it would come with time and one day I’d be out partying in clubs until all hours, yet here I am at 23 years old and I’m still not like that. Don’t get me wrong, I like a drink every now and then and I’ll happily sit in a pub with friends for drinks and a laugh but the thought of going out to a club just fills me with dread.

Here’s the thing, I didn’t go to uni. I finished high school and went straight into my first job so I didn’t have those four or so years of socialising, partying, drinking etc. I think for some, uni is that perfect time to do all of these things and a lot of uni culture is going out partying. Personally, I chose not to go to uni – I just didn’t feel like it was for me, and that’s okay but that’s a whole other post that I’ll probably write in the future. But by choosing to not go to uni, I missed those few years of being a student and going out and being social and I’m honestly okay with that. Knowing me and how socially awkward I can be, I’d have probably hated uni and would have stayed in all the time by myself anyway!

I think a lot of it comes down to my anxiety. Even the thought of being in a club, surrounded by drunk people that I don’t know and loud music just fills me with anxiety. Crowded spaces + drunk people + loud noises = a no go. I’ve been in clubs before and hated every second of it. Clubs just aren’t my scene, like I said before I’ll sit in a pub for hours and love it but as soon as someone suggests going to a club, I’m out. I know for a fact that I’d be miserable while I’m there so why pay an entrance fee to a place where I’m going to be uncomfortable? Though Cam always says to me that I’ve never been to a club with him and he keeps my anxiety at bay so it could be a different story when I’m with him – I’ll report back to you!

If I had £1 for every time someone called me boring for not drinking, not going out, not partying – I’d be a millionaire. I absolutely hate that stigma. Just because I don’t drink that often doesn’t mean I’m boring or I can’t have fun – I don’t love the taste of alcohol so why would I waste money on it when I don’t want to drink it? Don’t get me wrong, I love a glass of Rosé every now and then and I’m partial to a cocktail but not all the time. I’ll happily sit and sip on a Diet Coke while everyone else is on the alcohol and not feel pressured to drink.

I’m really hoping this isn’t coming across as bashing anyone who goes out drinking every weekend, if you can do that then good on you! I sometimes wish I was able to do that, but I think it needs to be said that it’s okay to not go out every weekend, it’s okay to not want to drink alcohol, it’s okay to not be a fan of clubs. There can be so much peer pressure trying to force you to do these things but it’s okay to say no!

It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I’m not a party girl and I probably never will be. I’d be happy spending my Saturday night with a glass of Rosé on the couch, watching an episode of Can’t Pay We’ll Take It Away and a bowl of pasta bake, though that might be because I’m a 70 year old in a 23 year old’s body 👵🏻

I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this topic, let me know down below!



  1. May 20, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    I loved reading this because I'm exactly the same! I didn't go to uni and I'm glad I didn't as I'd definitely have been seen as 'boring' because I don't drink often! I like a cocktail every now and then but I'm not a big drinker and that doesn't bother me, I had a few weeks after I turned 18 where I went clubbing but soon realised it wasn't for me! Glad I'm not the only one!

    Jess // foundationsandfairytales.wordpress.com

  2. May 20, 2018 / 4:50 pm

    I nodded in agreement to this entire post. I hate clubs, but will happily sit in a pub with a bunch of friends it's just a much more relaxed environment. I've been in situations in clubs where I've just felt so uncomfortable that it affects the entire night and I can't wait to just go home. Honestly I don't feel like I've missed out from not spending every weekend out on the town, and it's actually reassuring to read that I'm not the only one that feels this way about night's out. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Emma x

  3. May 20, 2018 / 7:25 pm

    I completely get how you feel about going out. It's not so much anxiety for me as just preferring to sit and talk with people in a setting where I don't have to tell to be heard and I have never really liked the feeling of being drunk so I avoid it. But it's certainly a disconnect from friends and others who cant understand not wanting to go out. Thankfully this gets better as you get older and people naturally settle down. Soon your peers won't care much about partying anymore either.

  4. May 29, 2018 / 5:32 pm

    This is really comforting to read as I'm going into my fourth year of uni now and I've still never experienced a club, party, or getting drunk, as I think I'm much too awkward as well. Thanks so much for sharing, it's really nice knowing there are others like me out there!

  5. July 7, 2018 / 3:18 pm

    Honestly though I went to uni and I went to one party and thats it 😱 I find going out drinking too dangerous it maybe due to where I live but you hear about all these fights and stabbings 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’d rather spend my money on something that I potentially wont get killed at 😂😂
    Abi xx

  6. July 7, 2018 / 7:36 pm

    I don’t drink either and I find other people are more offended/bothered by it then me! They are just jealous of our pasta bake nights

    Kate xx

  7. July 10, 2018 / 11:25 am

    I honestly relate to all aspects of this! When you say at uni you probably would have stayed in all the time by yourself, that is exactly what I did during my first year! I didn’t mind it too much b/c Can’t Pay We’ll Take it Away is the BEST!!! x

  8. August 6, 2018 / 3:05 pm

    This is such a lovely post! I’m glad you’ve shared your point on this, because I do feel there is a lot of pressure to go out as otherwise you’ll be called boring. It’s absolutely okay to stay in and not do anything, and I do that quite a lot.

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